2011 is about to close. I am not where I thought I would be, but I'm not where I used to be... and that is definitely a step in the right direction.
An old boss of mine once told me that the Indians have a saying: At some point in your life you will receive seven years of bad luck, followed by seven years of good luck.
From the beginning of 2005 til now, my life has become something I couldn't possibly have conceived of in my youth... I have had people tell me throughout this past year how amazed they are at my resilience, or how well I look, or how much I've accomplished... and I want to tell them that they really, truly have no idea. They don't know.
They couldn't know, really. Even the ones who are so close to me. And that is why I don't scream it at them from the rooftops. That is why I don't give in to all the terrible things that have torn off and eaten little parts of my heart over all this time.
I have been into the most physical manifestation of Hell imaginable: my own mind. Throughout everything, I have managed to be optimistic... I have managed to overcome obstacles because in my heart I have tremendous faith in myself, my family, my friends, and my love of others. I have been hurt, but my experiences have made me realize what is really important:
I spend time with people who want to spend time with me.
I cherish people who earn that affection.
I exalt those who compliment me and our shared ideals.
I appreciate the zeal of passion, the strength of intelligence, and the charisma of confidence, for I find people who can hold conversations with me for hours on end and who can see the world in a marvelous way as I do despite it all absolutely fascinating and beautiful.
I live for the moments when the people I adore demonstrate the reasons for my feelings; they are testaments to everything I believe in.
Above all else, I admire and applaud people who want to change the world, sincerely. I remember wanting to do things for selfish reasons when I was younger... but the resolve that grew in me over the past seven years has taken on a life of its own:
I WILL change the world.
It is as simple as that.
It may not be with a "REAL" job, as opposed to "Artsy" or "Theoretical" jobs, but it WILL be with every fiber of my being, with the core of my essence, with the last bit of breath in my body I will harness whatever strength is inside me and inside those who will join in my Crusade, and we will change EVERYTHING.
For Good.
For Always.
If Naren was right, my seven years are almost up... and I have less than two months left til I miss the "Death at 27" curse that seems to strike creative people who make an impact while they're young... and if his conviction and faith sustained him through everything in his life, it sure as hell can do the same for mine.
This entire past year has been better than the last, and next year can only be better. I have met so many wonderful people; I have had some marvelous experiences; I have loved life as if it were a precious, unsustainable gift... because that is exactly what it is.
The people who have made all of those moments, especially this past week, so unforgettable and invigorating... I hope you know how awesome this ride has been, and how you have contributed to it.
Thank you all, with all my heart.
Let us make 2012 the greatest year of our lives.
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